Hi everyone! Firstly, can I just say - thank you so, so much for all the love last night. I'm so insanely happy that you liked the Frozen Hearts cover and your comments made me smile so big. You guys are the sweetest - I love you! Oh, and we just hit 10,000 hits which is asdfghjkl; exciting. How awesome is that?! :D
This week's Friday Poetry was written, actually, last Friday - right after I posted the poem for last week, haha ;) It's a bit of a new twist on the general love theme, plus I was kind of in the mood for something uplifting, so... here we are! Fun fact: this was actually inspired by a line from the sequel to FH (it's paraphrased in the first three lines of the ninth stanza).
It's called Things You'll Learn from Losing Him, and I hope you guys like it. As always, please do leave your thoughts in the comments - I'd love to hear your opinions. xx See you on Monday, everyone!
Things You'll Learn from Losing Him
love isn’t always beautiful. sometimes it’s terrible and sometimes it’s the ugliest thing in the world, but the worst part is when it hurts so badly you can’t breathe from the weight of it sitting in your chest, because that’s when you know it’s real.
I’ve been through it all before, darling, and you need to know: just because the tears don’t come, it doesn’t mean the hurt isn’t there. sometimes you hurt so badly that it’s like your body is struggling too hard with the mere act of living to bother with tears.
so please don’t blame yourself for sitting in the dark and wishing for dry sobs to turn into something more,
because it’s easy to tell people you’re okay but it’s harder to believe it yourself and sometimes no one will ever understand how not okay you are – but maybe that’s alright. maybe that just means that when they ask it’s time to say no, for once.
(lying to yourself is never a good thing to do, anyway.)
I’ve felt that pit you’re feeling right now in the bottom of your stomach, that gaping hole that ache for something you’re not quite sure ever existed, and you can’t name it yet, can you? you don’t know what it is, but I’ll give you a hint: that’s loneliness you’re feeling, tearing, aching loneliness
but it will go away someday, and even though someday might seem too far into the future, it will come. I promise.
because loving yourself is a learned skill. at times you just want somebody to tell you that you are too amazing for words, but the only person who might have is the only one who isn’t there anymore
but counting the seconds minutes hours at 3:27-28-29-30 AM will not bring anything back, real or imagined or whatever once lay in between, and the world is generally silent at 3:27-28-29-30 AM so it is the perfect time to say out loud to yourself that you are too amazing for words, because loving yourself is a learned skill so it’s best to start learning as quickly as possible.
by the way, darling, the rain is comforting, and the tears, when they come at last, will be cleansing. it doesn’t mean you hurt any less, but it does mean that at least you know the sky is hurting just as much as you are.
and there has yet to be a time when the sun didn’t come out after a rainstorm. after rainstorms, though, there are always puddles to splash in, and even when memories threaten to overtake everything you can hopscotch through miniatures pools of water and maybe that will help just a little bit, to hear your own laughter after so many days of tears
and darling, there is a certain beauty in a shattered heart – so perhaps it will never be easy, drawing breaths that slice your lungs in half. perhaps it will never be easy, navigating the world without him by your side, but perhaps turning tears into ink flowing onto a blank page will come more naturally. and perhaps that will make it a little easier.
and love isn’t always beautiful, but oh, darling, loneliness isn’t always ugly either. sometimes it’s gorgeous. sometimes it’s the most breathtaking sight you’ve ever set your eyes on, and the best part is when you’ve moved past it, when you’re standing on your own two feet and you can look back and realise that maybe his chapter was a wonderful one, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t even better words in your future,
the best part is when you’ve relearned how to laugh at your own distorted reflection in puddles, and the best part is when the tears have stopped at last and you can look back and say I loved him with everything I had, and because of him I love myself even more –
because darling, that’s when you know it was real.