Frozen Hearts Goals

Hey everybody! I had a chance to work on editing FH today - got through the first couple of chapters and they're much better now, to my relief ;) As I mentioned yesterday, two of my major goals in this are strengthening my descriptions and character development. Of course, as the writer of the book, I know every single thing about the characters - their looks, personalities, funny little mannerisms. But in my writing I've noticed that I tend to assume the reader knows it too, which of course they don't. So that's the first thing - making sure I include descriptions of the characters, the settings, etc. The second thing is making sure my characters are not the same at the end as they were at the beginning; that is, character development. I think I do a pretty good job of this already, but I want the development to be more gradual, almost so that the reader hardly notices it until the finale.

Will let y'all know how those play out as I edit further, but for now I decided to do a little exercise to work on both of these. I wrote a short scene in 20 minutes, making sure I focused on both descriptions and character development; the scene was based on a single word: oblivion. I'm quite pleased with the results, so I thought I'd share them with you. :)

The characters are not named and I won't give you any more information on the scene, but see if you can pick out what the context was - and let me know how you think I did! ;) I'll post it in a new post as it's quite long. :)

love, Topaz