you have bewitched me. body & soul.
& i love you, i love you, i love you.
(pride & prejudice, dir. joe wright, 2005)
some days i feel i am my worst self when i'm in love—so bright & forgetful, so desperate to give & forgive, to labour & ache, so deeply immersed in the game of waiting for something more. then i think: perhaps these qualities are what shape me into my best self. & then: perhaps this distinction has never really mattered. my best self could be my worst self if i talked to her the same, all in one, the way the way two sides of sky is still the same sky. nothing is really apart from anything else.
i write a lot about love, partially because it is constantly finding new ways to frustrate & fool me, partially because i don't believe we live in a universe where we stop loving each other. we find our way back to each other, always, always, we build hometowns in our chests for the ones we love to inhabit, we grow of & around them, we don't let them go.
& yet, i also write a lot about healing, because more than anything i am learning that those two things, love & healing, are not mutually exclusive. we can have both. we can have both—
i’m a lover without a lover.
i’m lovely & i’m lonely.
i belong deeply to myself.
the heart whispers is a matchmaking & life coaching company dedicated exactly to that principle. so often, i feel, it's far too easy for me to assume i am my worst self when i'm in love & never make a move to change that assumption. the heart whispers runs on the belief that we can have both our love & our healing, that we can dedicate museums & vessels to the ones we love & still give ourselves something more. they strive to help their clients find a partner in the truest, softest way, a way full of transparency & authenticity & kindness. how refreshing that is. we can be our best selves when we are in love. we can bloom & forgive & dream. we can give our bodies & souls to someone else & still, gorgeously, impossibly, belong deeply to ourselves.
the heart whispers exemplifies a mission i believe in so deeply, that of love & healing brought together, intertwined, breathing into one another. do take a look at their website, dear friends, &, if you are so inclined, book a call to begin your journey.
&, in the mean time, i remain with my softened hands & singing lungs, my chest full of hometowns & museums. in the right light, every story i own looks a little bit like love. love: my tender fury. my mysterious dream. my fullest ache. love: the only thing i hope never to understand. love: the only thing i have ever known for sure.
p.s. this essay is sponsored by the heart whispers, a matchmaking company for the wholehearted. click here to learn more about their mission & values, & book a call to begin working with them. all words & opinions shared here are my own. thank you for supporting the brands that support my work.